…is that…there’s all this committing involved! 🙂
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Well, to those who know me personally, it may seem like I’ve taken a step back. You know, like I’ve started disappearing from some things and haven’t been as involved as I once was. Some friends, extended family, and fellow church members have started to notice this, and I have to agree that it’s true. (I may not be as present on the web either…less memes, daily stuff, and long-winded posts…maybe more quick posts, blurbs, and comments; on occasion.)
The good news is that it’s not because I’m severely depressed or anything. (I know there have been such times in which I’ve started slinking away from life because of fear, anxiety, stress, or great sadness.) However, my reasons now may still be difficult for others to understand, nonetheless. You see, lately, I’ve had to start making some tough choices, and it’s certainly not been easy nor fun…but necessary.
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I’ve never liked feeling like I’m letting others down, so I often try to take on more, whether I can handle it or not. I also, like many people, don’t like to admit when I can’t do it all! Some may look at me and think that I can do a lot more than I have been doing, and for me to cut back even more would seem ludicrous! However, this is truly one time in my life that I have to make a concerted effort to not let what others think, guide my actions. I do not state this in anger, but only in absolute truth, with love. It’s just the way it is.
I have made a commitment, and I know it’s time that I start giving it 100%! My husband and I made the decision 3 yrs. ago to home school, yet somehow along the way, I’ve lost focus. Home schooling was supposed to be a top priority, yet I’ve let so many other things sneak in and take precedent.
The simple truth is that home schooling my children, keeping a home, being a good wife, and taking care of my family takes EVERY little ounce of everything I’ve got! There’s just not a lot left over! It takes all the faith, perseverance, energy, discernment, wisdom, brain-power, brawn, will-power, motivation, love, courage, patience, resources, money and time that I have! No doubt about it…yep, EVERY BIT!! 🙂
Sooooo, that being the case, what am I to do? In order to do the very best job that I can, I HAVE to start letting some things go. I’ve at least got to back off from some other activities for a while to give this a real chance!
Some may think that the price is too high or too unfair, but that is not really for anyone else to judge. Actually, it’s also, no longer the way I see it anymore. This is a season of my life, and this is what I need to do for now to have success in homeschooling. (In fact, as the kids get older, the instruction time will actually have to increase.)
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Well, I don’t know, some may want more explanation, and some may want MUCH less! 🙂 Anyway, just know that I’m not depressed, I’m not mad, and I’m not giving up on life. No, the truth is, I’m actually just beginning to live…to live the life God has for me…one day at a time!
Filed under: Change, choices, commitments, Daily Life, Faith, God, homeschooling, Life | Tagged: calling, choices, decisions, Faith, God, homeschooling, Life | 3 Comments »